June 18. Whatever!

Well I got a great workout in, repenting for yesterday's lost session. I ate well through most of the day, but let's be honest- I'm menstrual! (again with the tmi!) I've been insatiably hungry and my hankerings have not been for the healthiest things. I don't keep incredibly unhealthy food in my house, so graham crackers and one too many tacos at dinner were my worst offense, but still. Too much munching, but what can ya do? Keep working out the rest of the week, eat well, and avoid the scale until next Saturday. :)

Now to address Heather's comment...
Yes, you're right. According to the trainer, I should be eating a 1400 calorie minimum each day and adding in calories for those burned. Based on those numbers, I could be losing around 3/4 of a pound per week tops. I tried in the beginning to get more calories in but it just wasn't happening. I'm eating in a way that I'm never hungry, I typically make sure that I'm getting good, healthy portions of lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and veggies, and I've been losing weight again... so I feel like I'm ok. Science says that losing 1-2 pounds a week is perfectly safe, and since I'm not losing more than that, I'm not stressing it. I don't know... maybe if I stuck to what the trainer said, my body would get back to losing weight. For now, though, I'm at the tail end and I just want to reach my goal as soon as possible. Maybe that's not the best way to look at it, but after nearly a year and a half of doing this, I just want to get there, ya know?

And where "there" is, I'm still debating. I had said 150 would be my target, but I think I'm getting closer to being happy with where I am. Pretty sure I'll aim for 153, just so I can say I lost 50 pounds, but I don't think I'll push too hard beyond that. Pregnancy will likely be on the horizon soon and given that I lost 11 pounds when I was pregnant with Lacey, I don't want to lose too much and get to the point that it might become unhealthy for me and baby. I'm also trying to appreciate my own body and stop obsessing over something that may be someone else's ideal but not my own. There are curves that I will always have, cellulite that cannot be done away with, and some sagging skin that only surgery can erase... but this is my body. I have put it through a lot in my 27 years and I have accomplished quite a lot with it. I feel that for my own well-being, and to promote a healthy self image in my daughters, I need to learn to see myself in a different light. I am working to erase the years of negative thoughts and to see the beauty that others see. I will always strive to be healthier, but some unknown or unreal idea of perfection is not in my scope. My sweet husband thinks I'm pretty perfect, so that's good enough for me. Of course, he fell in love with me at 215 pounds and thought I was perfect then too. For the first time in my life, I'm in a good place with my body and at this moment, I'm really happy with that. That isn't to say that I won't have my days of frustration or that I won't continue to work hard, but I feel like I'm finally winning the emotional battle of the physical war. Wow. Now that's a good feeling!